the mind and language

the ling100 professor says that everyone on the waitlist will likely not get into the class. which is very VERY bad news for me because concurrent enrollment students are supposed to come after the waitlist, i believe. which i understand; if i were the professor i'd want to let in all the real students first, of course.

but if i don't get into this class i am screwed.
screwed! fucked! deeply irreversibly jacked!
i'm serious.

so tomorrow i'll go to his office hours and i will beg abjectly. there are all kinds of pride and the pride that compels me to do everything i can to get into school is now superseding the pride that says don't beg for anything, ever.

this time is very stressful; i hate waiting and i hate when things are up in the air. i feel like no matter how hard this semester is gonna be (if i do get into both classes)...it CANNOT be as bad as this initial sorting-out period.

my one small hope is this:
if i were the professor, i'd let me in.

not only is that my hope, it's also a mental space built by a counterfactual. the "i" is the real me in the base space, and is the teacher in the hypothetical space. ah cogsci101, those halcyon summer weeks when i was actually enrolled!